I can say for sure that everyone has his own opinion about doubts. In order to beat our enemies we should know that enemy closer. So, what`s a doubt? When we talk about your goals, a doubt is your inner voice that warns you about only possible unpleasantness ahead leading you astray in your way towards your aim. In my opinion, we face doubts every single minute. We doubt about our relationship future of our financial conditions about our job, so on. Maybe, you feel that it`s normal, but we often forget how doubts ruined lives around.
Sometimes doubts clarify anything about what we suspected. To illustrate my words, I`m going to retell about my neighbor. As she was living in a two-room flat with her two children and because of her children`s growing too fast, she decided to buy or barter her own house to a new larger one adding some sum of money. Her attempts brought some results since she found a three-room flat not far from her own. My neighbor was so glad. Fortunately, her relatives advised her to check why the new house cost so cheap. Apparently, the house wasn`t worth of its price despite its luxurious scenery.
If she hadn`t doubted about her new house, she would have to pay extra money for the house, which cost half of it indeed. In this situation, a doubt saved some money. However, doubts can`t lead you to success if you use them more than often. The invisibility of our doubts is their both priority and defect. Since doubts can only be felt one can influence them easily, which means that they can disappear as quickly as they appear. Nevertheless, the influence of doubts is greater than your influence on them. It depends on your reaction to doubts. If you care about them more than the reality, doubts will take advantage over your self-esteem. On the contrary, if you trust your aim, your success, you will resolve them. “Doubts can`t make you fail until you care about them more than reality.”
My father is a teacher. He reads psychological books a lot. His dream is to get rich. Nevertheless, he couldn`t be positive about his goals even after setting his aim. My observation up to now prompted me that the end of regular doubts is pessimism. The worse is that my father didn`t doubt himself, but he got everyone around him doubt as well. He didn`t allow my mother to run her business as he couldn`t even imagine how she would manage it. I`m not going to blame him. I want you, my dear reader to understand the function, role of doubts in your life.
Do you know how to overcome your doubts? How on Earth can you fight with something which doesn`t exist in the material world? There is only one way to solve it: to find the opposite of doubts and change them. In my opinion, it is confidence. It doesn`t mean that you should ignore your doubts. In order to work with doubts you must know how they come to our lives:
1. From inside
2. “Kind” surroundings
In the first case, you can check carefully the reason of your doubt and avoid it when the second group is widely spread. We hear every day how our relatives, neighbors, siblings, colleagues dissuade us wishing to prevent us from failure. Unfortunately, our life is too short to spend it living the ways any other one wants. Even if you accomplish something significant before someone, it sometimes doesn`t satisfy yourself. What is the reason of it? I suppose everyone has his own mission in the deep bottom of his heart from which he wouldn`t separate even for a good sum of money.
So, ask yourself if it is really what you want incase the answer is positive, do anything in your power to achieve it. Now, you know that doubts can distract you from your goal. However, I`m not going to advise you to fight against your doubts. There is a more simple way here. Do you know how to get rid of the mud mixed up with water in your glass? You will have to make more effort to pour it out of the glass, but it would be much easier to pour clear water into it to let the mud out of it. I mean, if you try to overcome your doubts, you`ll have to pay attention to them and work with them in the result of which they can affect your life even worse.
Actually, doubting wasn`t what I did more often. Nowadays, knowing its useless effect I try to examine anything about hat I doubt. Being confident about it, I can make certain decisions. Accept your doubts as the next question. If you find the answer of it, you`ll learn more at least. Anyway, try to be confident rather than doubt. Sometimes it seems like you are not able to resolve your doubts or they can`t leave you? In order to turn doubts into self-confidence you can fulfil some extra exercises.
1. “Sharp Eye” You may start this exercise from yourself. Learn yourself: what you like, what you don`t like, what you enjoy doing, what inspires you, whom you respect, whom you imitate, et cetera. Write for yourself as a motto “Before doubting, clarify thoroughly!” When someone tries to transfer his doubts about your abilities to you, prove him that he or she isn`t right in a polite way. I do believe everyone has his strongest sides, capabilities and so on.
Imagine:
Someone doubts about your ability to succeed at work.
Someone tries to make you feel ignorant.
Another one wants you to stop improving.
Your parents dissuade you to do what you wish.
Now, can you keep your confidence in the abovementioned examples? Think over how you would answer these people. I would advise to read more books related to these or your own questions. Otherwise, you will have to invent a bicycle once more.
“Humorous Scene” I think humor doesn`t only absolve us from doubts, but also decorates our life. Sometimes, especially our close people`s doubts offend us. It can cause some quarrels, and fights. If you want not to lose your friends, you`ll have to learn to react to their disbelieving you with humor so that they become ashamed of what they say about you. For instance:
-I wonder if you can pass the exam as you`ve already failed it twice!
How can you answer this statement expressing doubts about your ability? I think in this way.
-Do you think that great athletes never fell in life? For instance, Michael Jordan became the greatest athlete as he failed 300 times! So, always observe, deduce and read, apply in life what you learn.
“The elixir of Confidence” Don`t turn yourself into a source of doubts, but emit self-esteem. Always pronounce the words, which mean belief, trust in people. However, don`t mix your words with lie at all. First, you have some difficulties in following your words, way of thinking. Later, when you master it, you won`t have to make any effort as it becomes more than usual.